Q: Dear 2 Hot Girls In The Shower,

How can I get older men to stop liking me? It’s really starting to get on my nerves…

Signed,

Confused in New York (Sophia)

A: Dear Confused New York Sophia…

First of all, older men will only stop liking you when you stop having the name “Sophia.”  That’s a name that just reeks of sex appeal.  Let’s say I’m an older man looking to bring in some job applicants based solely on their resumes.  Who do I want bending over to pick up stuff I intentionally dropped on the floor?  Maude?  No.  Harold?  No.  Sophia?  Bingo baby!  Change your name to an ugly girl name.  Like “Frances” or “Olga” or “Cellulite.”

Second of all, stop going up to older men and saying “You want some of this?”

Sincerely,

2 Hot Girls